Hamlet's Ghostwriter. Born in Tanzania, revived in Northern Zealand.

Count This As The One: A Friend Song

The friend ghosted. I said thank you. I moved out of town, they call it OT. He said you're not my kind of friend. Our iced coffee didn't have the same blend. So it was icepick to the heart of the relation. When I see our mutual friends, it's still chilling. You taught me Inshallah means "Lord willing."

You're a composite of the worst people I've ever come across. I cross you off the list one by one. Still standing after all these rounds. My armor's up it's not quite Amore. The ones that left make me feel not just right but upright. It's a long way down to the slums. It's a long way down to so-called friends who are actually scum. I'm sipping Espresso watching Tyrese Maxey hit And-1's. There's good girls gone bad, there's girl's just wanna have fun. But not enough friend songs, count this as the one.

That's How My Summer Started That Year

A tribute to the fallen, their demise makes me grateful for my sustained rise. Like Scarface told Manolo, "Chico, it's all in the eyes". I'm glad I still have mine.

Not everyone can get back up. I stumbled headfirst into a glass collision. Grandfather named Maclean, I hit that window like a Mack truck.

That could have been the day my luck ran out. My doctor said I'm allowed to be lucky. They thought I was doing property damage and handcuffed me. Until they found out I was at-risk because another doctor abandoned me.

Nothing makes the North Zealand summer by the beach, as special as a year where the season was unavailable, out of reach. I've been passed on by too many pastors to start to preach. But when you have the sun in your sights, feel it with all your senses. Take it from a guy who Mack trucked into that window and almost said goodnight to life. Yeah, that's how my summer started that year.

Is a Shelter, "Shelter"?

Nightmares of running isolation plays. Last night I dreamt a family member swung at me with a hand weight to the face. Because if I were alone and ill, I might roam on the streets. How do I avoid getting to that edge? I've faced it before dropping more inner circles than Connect Four.

Another one

The dream before I let down another one. Shame built up, weight on my shoulders bordering on bodybuilder. So it's coming from the corners, it's coming from the top. Blitzed like Anthony Edwards when he's getting defended. I was just smiling enjoying sunrays. Then it got dark as the Raven, and I got blitzed like it was number 52 Ray Lewis coming.

The tension

Sometimes when you're down and out, you got inspired by others who say you should feel shame. Ones that used to pass you the champagne in your drinking days. But they just want you to feel pain. "Eric, feel bad that would make me feel better, you do it by the book. I want to see you trapped in a corner like when they defend Devin Booker."

Is a shelter, "shelter"?

How do I face the trauma I've already transcended? I was in survival mode. The professional told me you might be alone, but you don't deserve to be. In my garden up north, don't shade me from those money trees.

A G With No Units of Alcohol

Wet Wednesdays, last night they were getting toasty at the concert. I gave up the alcohol and won't look back. But I was just reflecting in the rearview mirror. What does staying dry mean? And what are the situations and friend groups to avoid to stay that way?

Homeless shelter

One of the most formative experiences of my life was a brush with homelessness in connection with illness. That would have been an environment with violence, thieving, and massive + unlimited hard drug abuse. While I've never been tempted to partake, living on the streets all winter, which was my prospect one year, could break anyone.

The biggest compliment

Last night I was at the Lloyd Banks show at Lille Vega. His G-Unit squad member 50 Cent's show at Royal Arena was ringing in my ear. I remembered my progress and smiled from ear to ear. When I saw 50 at Royal Arena in 2023, two concert-goers said I didn't need alcohol to be fun to be around. That's what I always did it for. That's why there used to be consistency and intensity with the way I poured. How far can a king come in a short time span? Crown me, humbly, what if I learned it was a marathon before I ran?

It's not that the show was an afterthought. I just reflect on the lessons on my smartphone selfie camera. I got to sing at the top of my lungs. I got to wave my hand in the air. My aura, friendly and non-judgmental, meant I went to the show alone and even had a good time with amiable concert-goers who weren't dry in November or ever.

Brave Butterfly, Work in Progress

Tonight I screamed in my dream. Traumatized by the graveyard of fallen friends. I woke up in a panic. I was beside myself but still audaciously optimistic.

Sometimes your former friends are a Trojan Horse, leaving behind their horseshit, hoping to see you collapse. Sometimes you can't run from your past in your dreams; it's too many laps.

Sometimes the emperor of horror wears new robes. Sometimes you wear yourself out thinking of the opinions of people you actually loathe.

Sometimes on the stage, I'm a brave butterfly free and uncaged. If they only saw the caterpillar. I'm a work in progress, put me at the Louisiana.

There's Only One Me

Before I ever lived my potential. Before I ever got 150% out of what I was bestowed with. The word my believers and apologists used to describe me was "bright". "Don't read all those NBA magazines, read books". Put down the games, understand the academic stakes and how they can open up your future. Fast forward to 2022 and it almost came crashing down, and I got sewn up and sutured. Part Future, part quite the creator like the guy from Odd Future.

But it wasn't all who were convinced I was the one, not the two. I also heard "all you have is an amazing ability to remember and a fantastic memory, what's so special about you?". That kind of agenda against a teen is how you know a life as a teacher isn't for you. I always beamed and I've never driven a BMW.

But my favorite teacher, Jim was a gem. He wanted to see me succeed; he thoroughly believed in me. I was a worker bee, and that's why I got straight A's. My wins were earned because my effort was a consistent 10 out of 10. Like your favorite model out of Maxim or on the red carpets and trends.

I maxed my potential then, then redefined the term when challenges hit. Degrees have been hanging on my heart's walls since the early 2010s. I still remember that day we went to watch the Jessica Alba movie about Sin. I was sweet on her watching 'Honey'. I won everything because I shattered all expectations. That's why there's only one me.

Less Is More

When they try to make you feel inadequate until you break, it's not your life purpose to overcompensate. You don't have to understand or make them feel they're correct. Selective memory, those are the words I choose to forget.

Even if your status was homeless... remember, less is more. You've lived like a true minimalist. You're off-the-charts in intelligence. They withhold love; it's a scarce item for them. You have it in abundance.

If you didn't have a meal ticket for a season, it doesn't mean you can't still be the big ticket later. The star of the show, the head turner, the top-grossing earner, yes, it's almost disgusting.

Painting the Narrative

When you're in love with writing narratives, be conscious of the ones you gravitate to. The ones that make you love-sick can turn to your biggest haters.

What's a narrative without a plot twist? I painted a certain color of future for myself for a good two decades, until I popped up, made written pop art, and reconsidered my trajectory.

My hope story is as enticing as Mike Tyson's.

I thought it was a movie to commemorate my war within when I saw it was called "Remember The Titans". I've been in the ward with the misfits, I've reviewed Cam Ward's rookie season in the NFL, check the fine print. I stacked every reward like James Clear said stack Atomic Habits.

I was going to lose it all like Eminem lost himself in the film where he played Bunny Rabbit.

I'm never bashful when it comes to going for what I want. I work towards the goal of making sure I can give my mom whatever she needs and wants. I'm the son in the sky. Blue clouds and flowers never made anyone this happy. I'm criticized and doubted, because I'm eclectic. I used to play so much music they called me CD E. In my Donovan Mitchell and Dame Lillard Adidas sneakers feeling like Run DMC.

The Homeless Butler

I'm in a Caron Butler jersey from 04/05.

His nickname is Tuff Juice. When he was down on his luck, he worked at Burger King. Went home smelling like burgers and fries.

He used to be homeless, well, I can relate.

I used to be starving. There was a week I never ate. Now it's so triggering to be hungry, so I clean every plate.

I almost died between June 1st and 2nd four years ago. I saved the date. My doctor told me I deserved to be a survivor. People told me to my face I deserved a different fate.

I'm in the Jimmy Butler jersey. Number 23 from Philly. I was in the hospital replicating his game-winners. He used to be homeless, too. I stared at the face of death and chased out my gravediggers.

Story time for mental health awareness month:

I was in a tough spot, so I challenged someone to a fistfight who was coming from nine months in jail to the mental hospital. He had nothing to lose. He was a boxer, and he assaulted someone with a hanger. Luckily, we squashed it before he could clothesline me; he even taught me how to uppercut.